Cookies Make Me Happy

“When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.”
― Erma Bombeck

Yesterday.
It was NOT a good day.  Yesterday served up a huge dose of high BG and combative child.  This is not something you want first thing in the morning.  We're talking BEFORE coffee.  I was not even armed to handle the day and I was dealing with an raging kiddo.  It wasn't her fault though and I've come to terms with these "moments" in our life.  I know that she is not in her right mind, but it still hurts my heart all the same.  We call them Mr. Hyde or Tiger Lily moments.  They pass when the Blood Sugar goes down.

If it weren't for this blog I would never speak of these moments.  But I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this.  It's just part of the struggle, part of the life.  One of our personal and sometimes daily struggles.

So.  After having my day start with lemons... I decided to make Lemon Cookies!!   A little ray of sunshine in an already gloomy day. They were delicious. See, don't they look delicious?

Here's the recipe

My Little Ray of Sunshine- GF Lemon Cookies

1 2/3 Cups Gluten Free Flour Blend ( I used Better Batter Blend )
1 tsp. Xantan Gum (if your blend doesn't already include it.  Better Batter does)
3/4 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Salt
3/4 Cup Butter or Butter Flavored Crisco
3/4 Cup Packed Brown Sugar
1/3 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 1/2 tsp Lemon axtract
2 large eggs
2 cups white chocolate chips

Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes

Zucchini Noodle Nirvana

Once in a lifetime you come across something that makes you so inexplicably happy that you have to blog about it.  Ok, I'm being a bit dramatic.  But my new spiral veggie slicer is AH-Mazing. 
I received it in the mail as a gift from my Aunt and Uncle and let me tell you, once you start spiralizing... you CANNOT stop.

Cue picture of my new amazing veggie slicer.

I went through EIGHT zucchini's before I even realized how many I had done.  It was that much fun! Look at these cute noodles.  What is even more amazing is that the cutter even cores out the seed part that you don't really want to eat or use. 

 

So Much fun and delicious too!  I tossed it in a hot pan with some olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.  It was Quick and easy and delicious.  Even the two year old ate it.  Double bonus points for me!

 

You can find one just like mine HERE.

Party like a Type 1 Celiac

Ok, so we've all been there.  That stressful place we mom's find ourselves in just weeks before our children's birthday.  You know, the one where we have to out-do ourselves in planning the most perfectly pretty princess party.  The hours we spend pouring over pinterest boards looking for ideas to make the party fabulous and ensure squeals of delight from our child.

Hopefully I'm not the only one!  I do really enjoy a good party and planning it is half the fun.  The other half?  Those excited squeals from my daughter!

Planning a birthday party for a diabetic child is a challenge.  At least for me it is.  You won't find some of the most popular party themes happening at our house (think Carnival or Candy shoppe) and for obvious reasons.  You won't find an abundance of sweets or goodie bags for the kids; but what you will find is a good time with family and friends.

We celebrated Miss Lily's 5th birthday this last Saturday with about 40 of our family and friends in attendance.  So how in the world do you plan to feed a large group without breaking the bank and making sure our own needs are met?  Here's what we did.  FIRST, ask for folks to bring potluck dishes, if they know how to do gluten free, and offer to do so, take them up on the offer.  SECOND, make sure you have yourselves covered first. 

Our menu consisted of simple and easy to make picnic type dishes.  Think a variety of sandwiches, salads and lots of veggies.  I took charge of covering the gluten free folks.  I set out trays of freshly slice GF deli meats and cheeses, a condiment tray and GF bread for a make your own sandwich bar.  For the other guests (on a separate table) we put out sandwiches made on fresh deli rolls which my mother in law made.  Let me tell you, having a mother in law who used to work in a deli really has it's advantages.  She really came through for me, with chicken salad, ham, turkey and cheese rolls for the other guests. 

Salad wise, you'll find that most picnic salads are both diabetes and celiac friendly.  Think sides like, potato salad, broccoli salad, coleslaw, and crock pot beans.  All of these items can be easily and cheaply be made diabetic and celiac friendly. 

For the cake situation I made a GF cake for our Celiac friends and the birthday girl and ordered cupcakes  for everyone else.  Believe it or not ordering cupcakes is a lot cheaper than using our expensive GF flour blend!  And I'm sure your wondering, "Do you do Sugar Free for the diabetics"  and I'm here to tell you, NO!  It just doesn't taste as good, and quite honestly during a birthday party, the kids are so active you will inevitably go low right before it's cake time.  What better way to cover a low than with a big ol slice of birthday cake.

I came up with a recipe for GF lemon cake (as requested by the birthday girl)  If you'd like to give it a try here is what I did and it was delicious.

2.5cups  Gluten Free All purpose flour ( I used Better Batter brand)
1.5 tsp Xantan Gum (if your blend doesn't include already. Better Batter does)
1tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking pwd
zest 3 meyer lemons
1 cup buttermilk
2 cups sugar
1 stick unsalted butter at room temperature
1/2 cup applesauce
3 eggs
juice of 3 meyer lemons

Mix together all wet ingredients, then add dry.  Bake 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes.  Cool and frost with your favorite frosting.  NOTE:  the cake is better without being refrigerated.  I noticed that it was way more fluffy without refrigeration, so I recommend storing the cake and frosting shortly before you plan on eating to avoid refrigeration.  It was still delicious, but just more dense. I like a fluffy cake!

Here is a picture of my cake.  Sorry no inside pictures, we were all too busy munching away to remember to take a picture, then it was gone and too late! 

 

Gluten-Free Bread in My Tummy

Since receiving Lily's celiac diagnosis we've struggled with finding a Gluten Free bread that she would actually eat and that we felt ok about feeding her.  We discovered that quite a few of the whole grain GF options just had a horrible taste.  FYI Amaranth Flour tastes like dirt.  Literally.  Dirt.

After quite a few unsuccessful attempts at finding something that a small kiddo would eat I stumbled upon a bread mix from Glutino.  I bought it, thinking "Why Not?!, I've tried everything else!"  I had little hope that this bread mix was going to be anything that my daughter would eat.  I took it home and followed the directions for my bread machine and WOW was I ever surprised by what came out.

This bread.  This wondrous bread.  It was unlike any of the other dense, mostly nasty GF breads we had tried before.  It was light and fluffy and it tasted DELICIOUS.  My daughter was so excited that she was going to get her favorite grilled cheese sandwich for lunch the next day.  It grilled up wonderfully and Miss Lily LOVED IT.  Bonus,  it did not spike her blood sugar or cause immediate lows; or any highs later in the day.  We had a smooth BG day.  The glucoaster was no where in sight!

The best part, I bought the mix for $3.99 on sale.  This is waaay cheaper than the average loaf of GF bread in the grocery store.  It also makes a 2lb loaf which will give you 20 servings.  More if you slice it thin, and for those of you counting carbs,  it has been pretty consistently 0.5 carbs per gram of weight per slice.

So.  Glutino's Favorite Sandwich Bread Mix.  We love you.  Thank you for making my life a little better and letting my kiddo enjoy her favorite grilled cheese again!  You achieved a Miss Lily rating of Two Thumbs Up! 

Here is a picture of my beautiful loaf of bread, right out of the bread machine.

Fight the Battle

Three words have a lot of power.  I've been thinking about the power of three words for the last week or so. There is a certain combination in particular that has had a hold over me. When I think about them I realize how easy it is to say, but do you really mean it? And how awful if you do. It makes me sad.

Quite simply..."I give up". 

I've decided to delete these words from my vocabulary. I cannot and will not give up. I feel sorry for people who do.  There is a power in these words. What exactly are you giving up when you say them? Are you giving all of your strength and power away? Denying yourself the ability to succeed.

"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent"  I ran across this quote today and decided it was a sign that I needed to get out the thoughts that have been swarming in my head.  Make a vow to never give up... I may be defeated by something in a moment, but determined to win the next.  No matter how difficult a situation may seem I will not give my power away. I will not say the words for sympathy, to say them would mean I'm questioning God. I will not do that.

I'm blessed to have such a wonderful partner in life. Together we have weathered the storms, stuck together, supported each other. Taken every obstacle course with our feet tied together like a three legged race.  Laughed in our moments of despair. Almost like insane people, sometimes we laugh hysterically when the moment is wrong.  It feels right all the same. I love that man!

"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."
Psalm 94:19

Cleaning up my act

Several times a year I am inexplicably overcome with the "urge to purge".  And no, I am not speaking about an eating disorder.  I'm talking about all of the "stuff" that clutters our lives.  Steals our focus, takes us away from the things that really matter.

As I go through clothes that don't fit, toys that aren't played with and kitchen items that are "just there". I realize just how much stuff I have, because at some point I thought it was cool.  Now it's just sitting in a drawer, box or shelf, collecting dust.....and it's weighing me down.... who needs all this stuff??  Someone else, that's who.

I cannot begin to explain to you the incredible lightness that I feel when I rid myself of stuff.  Simplicity makes me happy.  If I haven't used it in six months it is seriously up for "the vote".  Usually "the vote" consists of my husband and I reviewing items and determining if it is to be kept, sold, donated, or given to a friend.  We have come a long way in this process, we are VERY realistic. Sometimes drastically so.  We just love to get rid of stuff!!

Some people would think we are odd, but, when you are harboring items that you don't use, and you know someone else can make use of it....giving it to that person, makes you feel awesome.  It's a mutual happy ending. 

Making someone happy, makes me happy, and I feel like in some small way I am doing God's work.  And really, isn't that the goal?  So, I say, take some time to clean up your act and maybe in the process bless yourself and others!

Super Mom or Super Failure?!?

Some days are harder than others.  Some weeks are harder.  Sometimes I question whether my feeling of defeat is coming from my lack of sleep or my constant worrying.  The daily struggle just feels like more than it should. 

Yesterday was one of those days.  After a night of fighting to bring down a stubborn high blood sugar, I had to hurry to get the kids ready and head out the door for THREE doctors appointments.  Yes, Each kid had one.  What was I thinking?!? 

Needless to say, going into a busy day exhausted does not set the pattern for success.
I. WAS. CRANKY. 

Regardless, I put on my big girl panties and struggled to be nice to everyone (don't ask my husbands opinion though, he gets the unedited version of me, which is pretty darn raw) 

Our appointments went half as expected and half unexpected.  Our 8 weeks old is a big girl and already weighs in at 12 and a half pounds!!  We also learned our two year old needs speech therapy.  Oh, how I was trying to avoid this! I've been working and working with her, but it just isn't working.  She will NOT talk. This was a failure moment for me. My admission of defeat, my little white flag was flying and I was asking for help.  Those who know me personally will attest that I don't ask for help... I am stubborn; and yes I also had to have speech therapy as a child.  My daughter is becoming me! 

Our last appointment was the one I was the most anxious about.  THE ENDOCRINOLOGIST.  Yes, that absolutely needed to be capitalized.  Every three months we see Lily's Endo, who is a wonderful woman that we love.  She never judges and is always very kind.  She is quite frankly THE Best!  So. Why do I feel like I'm walking into an execution every three months? Let me give you an idea of what it's like.  Imagine that you are getting called to the principals office to get a report card, which basically tells you if you're taking good care of your child.  This is stressful people!  Somebody is going to know every mistake I've made in her care. It is all out there.  There is a graph chart right there showing it. It's printed out on paper and logged in her file.  There is no HIDING.

We go in knowing we have done our best , but somehow seeing that chart and talking about your problems is both cathartic and painful. 

We knew our numbers were crap this quarter because of our celiac diagnosis.  Our little lady is having major absorption issues that are resulting in high blood sugars and vitamin deficiencies.  Our A1c did go up, but thankfully it didn't go up as far as we were thinking it would.  This quarter it was 6.9  which is right in target for Lily's age group and as far as report cards go, is pretty great.  Major Relief! The mister and I literally breathed a heaving sigh of relief in the middle of the doctors office.

Finally. Our doctors appointments were over and we could go home.  Cue low blood sugars.  It always happens when you're driving on the freeway.  I suddenly become this crazy contortionist trying to reach the insulin pump from the front passenger seat, checking blood sugars and administering sugary treats while the hubby tries to drive.  We've learned to laugh about it, and always give ourselves an extra 15 to 20 minutes to go anywhere!

All in all we were feeling like the day was mostly a success.  We were home, enjoying lunch when the babies doctor called.  We learned that her head is growing abnormally fast.  Our doctor was concerned, so we'll be doing some follow-ups to determine why.  Of course this was not something this mama wanted to hear.  The raw part of my heart broke a little.  I cried, knowing the possibilities, then called my mama, who prayed with me.  Sometimes you  just need your mom and God to feel better. 

Today is a new day. The struggles are the same.  Find time for everyone and everything.  Live successfully with Diabetes and Celiac and make life as normal as possible.

The reality is, I may never be successful in figuring out how to integrate everything I want to. But I'm not going to stop trying! A good sense of humor and a huge dose of humility help. some days I will feel like supermom, other days I will feel like a failure. My goal? Accept those days I feel like a failure and have more supermom days! More laughs, more giggles, more forts in the livingroom, more dessert and less guilt. Here's to goals and a whole lot of faith!

The Type 1 Roller Coaster

I've always been a rule follower. The kind of person who wants to have set list of directions. In my opinion once you start something it should go through to the end with very little deviation....  I've learned this is sooo not how life works. 

Diabetes does not work like this either.  I assume that if I follow the "rules" it should work out the way I want it to. Like a mathematical equation. I've spent hours going over carb ratio, carb factors, insulin sensitivity factors, etc. HOURS and HOURS.  I've stressed and actually created algebraeic equations. 

What a waste of time!

I sit here now and just laugh.  This is how far I've come. I've learned to relax a little and go with the flow.  I can correct a high and raise a low.  I will take them as they come.  I cannot anticipate what my sweeties next blood sugar will be.  It is a complete roll of the dice. 

Sometimes I watch the countdown on her BG meter as if I were watching the spinning wheels of a slot machine.  Fingers crossed....good number, good number, good number.  Anxiety high, then....surprise!  It's alright. Moving on to the next activity.

My biggest life lesson.  Learning to relax. Take it in. Live.

The Journey Begins

It's hard to believe that nearly Five and a half years ago my life began. For me the journey of getting pregnant and having a child was life changing. Nothing could have prepared me for this earth shattering love and shift of view. Suddenly everything I did I saw through new eyes, I didn't like a lot of what I saw, and I knew I wasn't happy. I surrounded myself with people who didn't make me happy; a job that sucked the life out of me.

So. I quit my job. I put my focus back on me, my new daughter and my husband. I cut myself off from negativity. I started this new journey of mother and wife that God put before me. There is a lot of joy to be found in the simple and seemingly mundane, I just needed to be reminded.

Part of this joy is the knowledge that God will provide. Which brings me to part two of my story.

In my experience, it is usually when you're feeling pretty happy, and yes, a little bit invincible, maybe even (dare I say it) cocky...that the man upstairs decides to knock you down a peg or maybe six....

On December 23, 2010, we found ourselves with one very sick little girl.  What we thought was the flu turned into something much worse.  She started having difficulty breathing, then went into an almost catatonic state.  Scared to death we took her to the doctor, only to end up in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit with her only a few hours later. We learned that our little girl was suffering from diabetic ketoacidosis, and the following 12 hours were crucial for her survival. 

It was the scariest experience of our lives, and the details of the following week are hard to retell.  So many thoughts ran through our minds ranging from "how could we let this happen" to "what could we have done to prevent this?"  Now we know the answer to those questions.  There was nothing we could have done. 

We spent the better part of her recovery learning how to care for her again. There was a lot of crying, cuddles and love. It's very humbling as a parent to not have a clue how to feed your child, or learn you have to poke her with needles multiple times a day just to keep her alive. My husband and I learned just how strong our bond is and we learned how to work together to keep our two year old alive.

Four months after our daughter was diagnosed we welcomed our second child. Another girl. Shortly after our second daughters birth we transitioned Miss Lily (our Type 1) to an insulin pump and continuous glucose monitor.  In November of this year  we welcomed our THIRD daughter and begrudgingly welcomed another autoimmune disease into our family.  Miss Lily was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. To say things are hectic in our house is an understatement. At times I feel like I have five newborns, all of them wanting my attention at once. But I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

Over the last three years of having diabetes, we've learned a lot and made a lot of changes in our lives to accommodate our little sweetie. Life with Diabetes has become our way of life; and now we're adding Celiac to that journey.  Through this blog I'll be sharing some of our day to day struggles and joys, our passion for food and our journey living a healthy lifestyle with both Type 1 and Celiac Disease.